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Internship Emailer - A Final Critique Please!


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#1 Guest_camzaman_*

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Posted 13 August 2008 - 08:19 PM

Cameron Nielsen Student Portfolio

It's 99% where I want it to be, I would just like some final feedback on the clarity of the project stories and what things you might change. I'll begin mailing this out this week probably...

Thank you!

#2 Guest_***_*

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Posted 16 August 2008 - 05:20 PM

"Brief: design a birdhouse (process and final product) as if I were Konstantin Grcic"!!!!!

What a stupid brief! Is it a school project? Are you learning to copy stuff?
Ok for designing a product for nike for bmw etc... you have to learn how to match your design with the langage of a company to adapt your process to the process of a company that's even the really center of the job.
But to copy Newson, Irvine, Massaud etc... what's the point?

Otherwise good stuff and good luck for the future.

#3 Guest_taryn paper_*

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Posted 19 August 2008 - 11:43 PM

it looks clean, but i need to see sketches.

#4 Guest_Lilith_*

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Posted 20 August 2008 - 02:48 PM

oh common you all wth? this is a very nice portfolio with clean and relaxing layouts, its just nice to look at and both drawing and rendering skills are there. well done.
taryn paper no offence but how come you failed to see the sketches on the portfolio? maybe you were looking at your portfolio instead ?;) heh oh ok, but still not joking

#5 Guest_camzaman_*

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Posted 20 August 2008 - 05:56 PM

The Birdhouse project was an exercise in adaptability - adapt your personal preferences and design process to fit something you normally wouldn't do. It is also intended as a design history conversation starter in portfolio interviews.
I'm tried to make that clear in the portfolio pages, maybe I didn't succeed?

As for sketches, did you just not find them? I have sketches in all projects except the birdhouse (shoe, trash can, stool, picture frame)... Did you want more quantity? Better Quality? I'm not sure what you mean...

Thanks everyone for the feedback! Keep it coming!

#6 Guest_***_*

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Posted 24 August 2008 - 05:42 PM

thx for your answer,
i wasn't blaming you for the grcic project but the subject itself.
Your portfolio is nice and clean as other people said.
Maybe it needs something more outstanding not to look like the others designers folio,AND you have the skills for that.

#7 Guest_camzaman_*

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Posted 25 August 2008 - 05:10 PM

Thanks for the feedback ***, I totally agree with you. They are all sophomore year projects so they're kind of basic although I am pleased with them. I'm actually currently redoing the shoe and the trash can.

#8 Guest_camzaman_*

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Posted 18 September 2008 - 09:45 PM

Any more feedback? Anyone? Buehler? Anyone....?

#9 Guest_spaff_*

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 09:40 AM

I like your portfolio, there is a good range of work there and its a really good standard. Like someone mentioned earlier about your sketches being to small to see and understand, I get the same comments on my portfolio . I have come to the conclusion that less is more on sketch pages so I am starting to fill a page with one or two good sketches with computer typed text (my hand written work is poor), rather that 3-4 squashed pages of concepts. You clearly have good photoshop skills so I am sure this won't be a problem.

Keep it up,

Ben...

#10 Guest_camzaman_*

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Posted 20 November 2008 - 12:35 AM

***ID Junior Mailer Portfolio Updated Nov 19th 2008

Cameron Nielsen Mailer

This is the newest version of my mailer portfolio. Please keep in mind this will be a mailer booklet so the format isn't totally optimized for the web site layout.

Thanks!

#11 Guest_Austin Brown_*

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Posted 20 November 2008 - 03:28 AM

one thing, after a cursory glance at your site... maybe don't use the word stuff in big letters on the first page. It makes you look amateur. whether you are or not is irrelevant, if people can't tell. Don't let the viewer know how much experience you have. The more professional you look, the more you're worth.

#12 Guest_Taro_*

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Posted 20 November 2008 - 06:01 AM

one thing, after a cursory glance at your site... maybe don't use the word stuff in big letters on the first page. It makes you look amateur. whether you are or not is irrelevant, if people can't tell. Don't let the viewer know how much experience you have. The more professional you look, the more you're worth.


agree, better to put something like.. graphic design portfolio? or graphic design collections? anything is better than stuff.

#13 Guest_camzaman_*

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Posted 20 November 2008 - 06:22 AM

The comments on the text on the index page are helpful, thank you. Would you remove it from the mailer booklet or just the web version?

Any comments on the portfolio itself?

#14 Guest_Austin Brown_*

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Posted 20 November 2008 - 06:36 AM

Just don't use the word "stuff" unless it relates to a specific project(that is to say, unless you want to use the word "stuff" because of the connotations). People assosciate "stuff" with clutter, disorganization, excess, etc. If you created a shelving system to organize all your stuff - that would make a lot of sense. Catch my drift?

#15 Guest_Austin Brown_*

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Posted 20 November 2008 - 06:45 AM

With regards to your portfolio, I would keep it consistent in terms of ordering your pages. Your first page is a glamour shot of the Diffuse product and then you go into detail about conceiving it. That's fine, but the next project begins with a page that looks like the same style as the previous page about the stool. It caught me off guard because it looked like a continuation of the diffuse but had a different title. Go from A to B to C etc. with every project consistenly. The look of your pages is great, they're well balanced and they show a complete process from ideation through 3D. Good sketches. It is often hard for people to know when enough information is enough - and they tend to put all the "stuff" they can fit on every page(I am guilty). You seem to have a knack for just the right amount.

Be careful of using too many buzzwords and complex terminology in one sentence. If the reader has to go back and mentally flip through a thesaurus after every other word, then you're doing yourself a disservice.

There are a couple of pages - simple human is one - that look very empty. They might work well as half of a page with more interesting information or at least a caption to add interest.

Well done on the whole, just rework it a bit and keep it simple.

austin




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